


The Past Is Prologue

by Lemmerman



Series: Love, Obscured By Darkness [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Multi, Spoilers, Teen Wolf 5A Spoilers, Teen Wolf 5B Spoilers, Teen wolf spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-07-28 23:17:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7661005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lemmerman/pseuds/Lemmerman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set between the events of Teen Wolf Season 5 and Season 6, this sequel to Safe sees the reader grapple with the loss of Theo and the profound effects he has had on their life. What does the future hold for their doomed romance now that Theo is gone?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Never Again

**Author's Note:**

> (Set between Teen Wolf 5x20: Apotheosis & 6x01)

You shouldn’t feel this way. You know you shouldn’t. You tried. You really did. You thought that your friends would be enough, that their love and support would ease the ache in your heart. But you were wrong. You can’t do this, even with their help. The world just isn’t right without him in it.

You can’t tell how long has passed since Theo…left. It could be days; it could be months. All you know is that Senior Year has somehow managed to last forever, and there’s still no end in sight. 

It didn’t start this way. You can still remember that day in the library, just after the Dread Doctors, the Beast, and yes, Theo, had all been defeated. Everyone was there, and you were getting ready to throw yourself into the deepest pit of despair you could conjure up, only to have Scott flash you the most reassuring smile you’d ever seen, and everything was better again.

For a while, at least.

You can’t pinpoint exactly when it first started. The feeling that something, someone, was missing. That things would never be the same as they were before. Before that year. Before Theo. 

What began as a mental feeling soon became physical. A yearning, a pit in your stomach that you couldn’t fill, no matter what you tried to fill it with. Your friends, your pack, didn’t fill it. Your parents, school, sports, had no discernible effect. You couldn’t even think about dating again. That would be like spitting on Theo’s memory. 

Every second is agony, every moment without him causes your chest to ache and your throat to tighten, as if you can’t even breathe without him. And yet, thanks to Kira and her katana, there’s no chance you’ll ever see him again.

Everywhere you look, out of the corners of your eyes, you think you can see him. Hovering just out of reach on the peripheries of reality, tantalizingly within and yet always out of reach. 

If you close your eyes, you can remember his voice, the way he always knew what to say to you, even if it was a lie. The way you felt in his arms when he held you, like nothing in the world would ever hurt you again. The strength in those arms reassuring you that you’ll never be alone again. With almost no effort, you can recall every line of his face, every peak and trough of his body under your fingertips, the way he smelled, the way he tasted, the way he made you feel.

And then, inevitably, you have to open your eyes again and face the harsh reality – Theo’s gone. And he’s never coming back.

********

Somehow, you’re back in that tunnel. You can feel the kanima toxin in your bloodstream, the constriction in your veins that makes walking hurt, and your lips tingle from Theo’s toxin-tinged kiss, paralyzing your vocal chords.

You drag yourself down the corridor, desperate to get to him in time. You’ve lived this before, you know how it all plays out. But maybe this time, you can change things. You can stop him before he falls. You can save him from your friends, and from himself.

Finally you round a corner, only to find that once again, you’re too late. In fact, you’re even later than the first time you were here. Everything is in slow motion as Kira plunges her katana through the air, its sharp edge glinting in the limited light, burying it into the ground at her feet and sending a crack across the floor towards… 

Theo.

He’s standing directly in front of you, his wide back taking up almost your entire field of vision. He’s so close, you can almost touch him. All your yearning bubbles up, but now is not the time. If you don’t move, you may never see him again.

You wrench yourself forward as the crack approaches, but you already know you’ll be too late. The ground splits in half at Theo’s feet, the waterlogged figure of his poor, drowned sister emerging as she did before, fastening her vice-like grip around his ankles.

‘Scott! Help me! Help me, Scott!’ Theo cries, and tears fill your eyes once again as the terror in his voice reverberates around the cramped tunnel. He’s already half gone, his legs disappearing beneath the edge of the hole. His arms are outstretched towards Scott; he’s unaware of your presence as he tries in vain to keep himself in our world.

And somehow, this time, against all the laws of time and space, you make it across the room in time. Adrenaline floods your system, forcing the kanima toxin into submission. You skid across the floor, sliding in front of Theo and grabbing his forearms with as much strength as you can muster. Your eyes lock, and he whispers your name, incredulous at the fact that you’re here.

Vaguely you feel like your friends should be doing something, stopping you, helping you, anything, but the entire world has fallen away around you. All that exists is you, Theo, and the irresistible force pulling him down away from you. Again.

Tears streak Theo’s cheeks, terror and helplessness etched onto his always so confident face.

‘Hold on! Hold on Theo, I’ll get you out!’ you shout, scrabbling your feet beneath you as you try and pull yourself backwards. Your hands tangle in the sleeves of Theo’s shirt, and the bones of your arms creak as he clenches, holding you so tightly that you’re sure your arms will break.

‘Don’t let go! Please, don’t let go!’ Theo pleads, using his considerable strength to pull himself upwards. His voice, still cracking with fear, is now edged with hope as he shouts ‘It’s working! Keep pulling!’

It’s true – the waistband of Theo’s jeans appears over the lip of the hole, followed slowly by his thighs. He’s almost far enough out to put his knees on the edge of the hole; you know that once he gets a good purchase, the two of you together will be able to get him out entirely.

Your eyes catch his, and a smile spreads across his face, lighting up with joy at escaping his fate, at seeing you again. Even now, his face dirty and coated with sweat, he’s the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen.  
‘Did you really think it’d be that easy?’ says a sinister voice from behind you. Your eyes are locked on Theo’s, trying to drown out all outside influences as you pull as hard as you can. He’s nearly out of the hole, and you can’t lose focus now.

‘You can’t save him. You couldn’t last time. And you won’t now.’ Dimly, you realise it’s Scott’s voice, but overlaid with a darkness you’ve never heard in him before. He steps into view, just to one side of Theo and the hole. He kneels down, his eyes blazing alpha-red and his fangs extended. He’s never looked menacing to you before, but for the first time, you’re petrified. And all the while, your hands are slipping in Theo’s shirt…

‘Scott! Help us! You know he doesn’t deserve this, whatever he’s done!’ You shout, glancing at your friend and away, desperate to avoid those piercing red eyes, and redoubling your efforts to hold on to Theo. 

‘He does deserve it,’ Scott snarls. ‘He killed me.’ He’s joined by the rest of your pack, Stiles, Lydia, Malia, Liam, Kira, flanking Theo on both sides. Each of them wears a similar scowl to Scott’s, each morphed by a darkness you’ve never seen there before.

Liam’s face is as twisted as Scott’s, his eyes a sickening yellow; the innocence of his youth is long gone now. Malia’s ice-blue eyes hurt to look at, and she gnashes her teeth threateningly, more coyote than human. 

Kira’s fox spirit is untethered, burning behind her like a flaming cloak, and her eyes don’t seem to recognize you. And it’s as if the Nogitsune has taken Stiles all over again, his face is a mess of anger and scorn, heavy blackness oozing off him in waves.

Even Lydia, whose supernatural powers have never manifested themselves physically before, looks more like the banshees you’ve read about; her eyes are empty of emotion, and her mouth is open in a perpetual scream.

‘You sided with him. No matter how many times he betrayed us, betrayed you, you stayed with him. All that faith you put in him, and what did you get in return? Nothing.’

Scott kneels down next to you, his breath hot on your face as you try to ignore him, pulling as hard as you can on Theo’s arms but making no progress.

‘You spent all your time wanting to save him. Giving him all your love, and your support. You neglected us. You forgot about us. After everything we did for you. You think we’re friends with you for fun? Because we like you?’ Scott’s close enough now that you can feel the heat of his eyes as well as his breath, but you lock your own on Theo, your defiant stare gripping him with as much force as your hands grip his arms.

‘The truth is, we don’t like you at all. We don’t need you. We never have. But you know too much about the supernatural to just let you go. You’re a liability. Just like Theo. You both deserve everything you get,’ Scott snaps with finality, and then they move. 

Lydia and Stiles plant their hands on Theo’s shoulders, forcing him back into the hole. Scott and Liam move to either side of you, grabbing your legs and dragging you away from him. Kira and Malia each take an arm, pulling until your grip on Theo breaks and he begins to slide backwards.

‘No!’ you both cry simultaneously, as the dark pack pulls you away from each other. You’re powerless to resist four supernatural shapeshifters as they drag you away, and Lydia’s hands swap from Theo’s shoulders to his head as she drives him down into the hole once again, one final primal scream echoing around the tunnel as the hole closes over his head.

You’ve lost. You couldn’t save him. Again.

And look what’s happened to your friends in the process. If you’d paid more attention, if you’d spent less time obsessing over Theo, they wouldn’t have been corrupted like this.

You thrash and wail at the world, hitting out at your friends, your friends who have separated you from the one you love, your friends who have succumbed to the darkness you swore you’d protect them from. You punch and kick, screaming at the top of your lungs at the injustice of it, how no matter how bad Theo was, he didn’t deserve this, your friends didn’t deserve this. 

Their faces stare down at you, twisted with hatred and disgust, pure evil emanating from them. Your friends are almost unrecognizable, and it’s all your fault. 

Theo’s gone. Your friends are gone. Everything you care about has been broken beyond repair.

Everything you touch turns to ash.

And then you wake, breathing heavily, your arms and legs tangled in the bedsheets, your brow drenched with sweat and tears streaming down your face. 

The fact that it wasn’t real doesn’t make it any less painful.


	2. Someday Soon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Set between Teen Wolf 5x20: Apotheosis & 6x01)

‘Hey, are you okay?’

One simple question, and yet it feels like the key that’s going to unlock the floodgate of emotion you’re currently holding back in your heart. You take a deep breath and close your locker with a clang to reveal Scott leaning on the one next to yours, concern furrowing his brow as he looks at you. You try to smile, but can’t seem to manage it. As he sees you properly, Scott’s expression darkens.

It’s not just sleeplessness that clouds your face. You know that your inner turmoil is plain as day, but there’s no way you could hide it. You came to school on autopilot, your mind racing over your dreams, your memories, anything you can latch on to about Theo despite the pain that those thoughts bring with them.

‘Okay, you’re not okay. C’mon, we need to talk.’ He reaches out and takes your hand, pulling you along the corridor towards the library. Class is due to start in minutes, but just as you can’t bring yourself to resist Scott, you can’t bring yourself to care either.

Scott slides his keycard through the reader and pushes the door to the library open. It’s mostly empty, with only one or two students milling around trying to look busy. Scott takes you aside and drops his bag next to a desk, sliding into a chair. You avoid his eyes as you deposit yourself in one across from him.

‘You’ve not been right since…, well, since Theo died,’ Scott states, and you flinch when he says the final word. You still can’t begin to accept that he’s gone. It’s not true. It can’t be true. Because that would mean you’d feel like this forever, and that would be the end of you.

‘I know losing him was hard, and I wish there’d been another way. But if Kira hadn’t done what she did, I don’t think we’d all be alive today.’

‘You don’t know that,’ you whisper, still not looking up.

‘Theo was so angry; do you really think he would have stopped after we saved Mason? After we took away everything he wanted?’

‘I could have talked to him. He would have listened to me…’ you reply feebly. Your heart aggressively insists that this is true, but that conviction doesn’t quite make it into your voice. 

‘You seemed okay for a while; I thought we could help you through this. But it’s not been enough. We’ve all failed you. So, tell me what we can do to help. Anything, you name it.’

Once again, Scott surprises you with the unfettered depths of his selflessness. Instead of saying that you need to pull yourself together, that you’re stupid for wallowing after a murderer like Theo, he’s blaming himself for not helping you through it. After all, you realise, he’s been through this himself. When Allison died, he was in the worst shape you’ve ever seen him in. And now that Kira’s gone, he could be hurting almost as much as you are. 

And yet, all he’s worried about is you, and all you’ve been worrying about is yourself.

This is what finally makes you look up at him, and what finally sends the padlock holding your emotions in check clattering to the floor of your mind.

You tell him how you feel. How you’ve felt since Theo died. How much it all hurts. How you’re not sure if you can cope, or if you even want to, because moving on feels like you’re giving up on Theo. You tell him about your dreams, about how much it hurts to think about Theo even though not thinking about him hurts even more. And how you don’t know how to move on. How sorry you are for being so selfish, for not realising what effect Theo and the Dread Doctors’ had had on him and the rest of your friends.

Scott listens patiently while you talk, and when you’re finished, he gives you his most reassuring smile. ‘Don’t worry about the rest of us. We’re all okay. Or getting there, I guess.’ You reach across the table and squeeze Scott’s hand, and smiles appreciatively. 

‘For now, we need to focus on you. This has hit you harder than the rest of us, that’s obvious. I don’t know what we can do to fix this. Theo’s…Theo’s gone. For all we know, he’s gone for good. But maybe we can help you move on. We can at least try. I have an idea, but you have to agree first.’

At this point, you’re prepared to try anything.

********

Scott’s dirtbike splutters to a halt and he kicks the side-stand out without looking. You climb down from behind him, handing him back the spare helmet as you look up at the water treatment plant. You never thought you’d be back here again. But Scott has managed to convince you that this might be the catalyst to finally help you start to move on.

‘Okay, you ready? We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, but I really think it’ll help.’ He looks to you for confirmation, and you pull your eyes away from the treatment towers towards the entrance to the tunnels. It’s almost a hole in reality, black and gaping, like the entrance to the underworld. It’s almost enough to make you turn tail and run.

But this will help. Scott’s right. You steel yourself, take a deep breath, and nod to him. ‘Let’s go,’ you tell him, and he walks towards the entrance. You trail along behind him for a moment, fighting the urge to bolt, before hurrying and falling in-step beside Scott. He flashes you a look of surprise quickly followed by a smile, and together you walk through the gates of hell.

Immediately it feels as though the walls are closing in around you. The familiar drip of water and the stench of chemicals burning your nose hit you like a punch to the gut and you stop, shaking uncontrollably. Scott gets a few steps ahead before realising you’re no longer next to him, darting back to your side.

‘Are you alright? We can go back if this is too hard, I’m not going to force you.’ 

Your breath comes in short, sharp gasps, and you scrunch your eyes closed to help you focus. Scott’s hand is on your back, a comforting presence, and the warmth helps stop you shaking. Slowly, you open your eyes, taking deep breaths to calm yourself down. You nod your head slightly, and walk forward slowly, increasing in speed inch by inch until you’re back to a normal pace. Scott’s beside you every step of the way, and you’re silently thankful for that.

‘I can do this, Scott. I can. As long as you’re here, I can do this,’ you tell him.

All the tunnels still look the same to you. You’ve no idea how you managed to track Theo the last time you were here, but Scott seems to know where he’s going. ‘I’ve been down here more than I’ve been at school lately, I think I can remember where to go,’ he jokes, and you smile weakly as he turns another corner. 

The further in you go, the less oppressed you feel by your surroundings, as if the closer you get to where Theo fell, the more weight is being lifted from your shoulders. Eventually, Scott comes to a stop.

‘It’s just around this corner. Do you want me to go with you, or do you want to go alone?’ 

‘I can do this,’ you repeat. ‘You’ve gotten me this far, I think I can do this on my own. I’ll come find you when I’m ready to go back.’ Scott nods and starts back down the corridor so he’s out of earshot, but you call to him as he walks away. 

‘Hey! Scott?’ He turns and quirks an eyebrow. ‘You were right. I think this is going to help. Thank you.’ He grins widely, and then disappears around a corner. You turn back and put a hand on the corner of the wall to steady yourself, take yet another deep breath, and step around into the next hallway.

It’s exactly how you left it before. There are almost no markers to set this apart from any other corridor; it’s almost identical to every other one in the facility.

Except for the crack in the floor. 

Even though the fissure had closed up after Kira removed her katana, you can still see the join in the floor where it split in two, taking Theo away from you as it closed. You drop to your knees and run a finger along the crack, thinking how easy it would be to break it open again.

But of course, it wouldn’t be that easy. Theo was gone. If you dug up the floor here, all you’d find would be dirt. That wasn’t a normal hole he fell into.

And now, coming back to what was essentially his grave, you could finally start to accept that he might never be coming back.

‘I miss you, you know,’ you tell the floor. You position yourself more comfortably, and as the words begin, you find that they flow more freely than you thought they would. Bottling up your emotions hasn’t usually ended well for you, but they seem to have fermented like a fine wine, and now you’re certain about every word you say. 

‘It’s ridiculous, right? I mean, I’m not even sure I knew you. Not the real you. Every time I thought I’d made some progress, I’d cracked the man behind the smirk, you’d do something to completely throw me off and I’d be back at square one, totally lost again.

‘And, let’s be real, you did some pretty screwed up stuff, Theo. You literally killed one of my best friends. You lied to everyone, including me. You threatened people I care about. You were trying to murder a kid just so you could have glowing eyes. That’s messed up, and you know it.’

As you speak, you can almost imagine Theo sitting across from you, a nonchalant smirk on his face as he listens to you pour out your heart to him. 

‘But, and I know you know this; I love you. You were kind. You let me in where no one else got to go. You trusted me. You saw the best version of me, and you made me want to be that person.

‘I love everything about you. I could get lost in your eyes for hours, trying to work out what they were trying to tell me. I love how I always felt safe in your arms, and I love how your body felt under my hands. I love how you always seemed more vulnerable with me, like I could crack that tough shell of yours and see through to the Theo underneath. And yes, I even love that damn smirk. 

‘But I always, always loved it when you smiled. You always seemed to smile just for me.’ 

The more you talk, the more you remember, the realer this vision becomes, until it’s as if you can reach out and touch him.

‘I love the taste of your kisses, that tickly sensation when you haven’t shaved for a while and our faces brush together. And it’s selfish, but I love that you were the first guy I ever truly wanted, and that you wanted me back. That I was enough for you, even if I didn’t feel like I was.’

You inch closer to your imaginary Theo, looking him dead in the eye. He reacts as if he’s actually there, leaning closer to you too. So close you can feel the warmth emanating off of him, which you must be imagining because he’s gone, there’s no way he’s sitting here with you…

‘I love that you’re a mystery, and that I feel like I can solve you, even if that isn’t true. I love how you treat me like an equal even though I’m not a werewolf, or a chimera, or anything like that. And most of all, I love…’

And then you’re close enough to touch, to kiss, and your mouth finds his as his hand reaches up, caressing your cheek and pulling you towards him. It’s a kiss full of yearning, full of unfulfilled potential, of memories of what was and thoughts of what could have been. His hand strokes the back of your neck, and yours finds his chest, gripping his shirt as hard as you can, never wanting to let him go again.

Finally you break apart, like two magnets being forced away from each other when all they want is to touch, to exist together forever, and Theo looks you in the eye, the mysterious smirk on his face as unreadable as ever. 

‘You’ll see me again soon,’ he whispers, and then it’s as if he was never there at all. 

You look around the corridor futilely, already knowing that he won’t be there. Was he ever there at all? But the warmth on your lips, the taste in your mouth, so familiar, tell you that you can’t have imagined it. No hallucination could feel that real.

‘You’ll see me again soon.’

The words echo around your head, and you blink back joyful tears. You don’t know how. You don’t know why. But you know they’re the truth, a prophecy that ensures the future is going to be brighter than the darkness you’re living in now.

And that’s enough to keep you going, at least until those words come true.

You get to your feet, taking one last look at the tunnel where you lost the one you love, and where you found him again, before walking back the way you came to find Scott. He’s leaning against the wall with his headphones in, music cranked up to ensure his werewolf hearing gave you some privacy. As you approach he looks up, pulling out an earbud and giving you a quizzical look.

‘You okay?’

You think about it for a second, then give him an honest answer. ‘No, I’m not okay. But I think I will be. Soon. Thanks for this, Scott. You were right, it really helped.’

‘Hey, anything you need, I got your back. We all have.’

And you appreciate that even more than Scott will ever know. 

‘So, shall we get out of here?’ 

You nod, and give him a genuine smile of your own, the first you’ve smiled with sincerity since Theo left. You walk back out of the darkness together in silence, and into the light of the day; the irony isn’t lost on you.  
You gaze up at the sky while Scott gets his dirtbike ready, and then you glance back at the tunnels. Somehow, they’re not as dark as they were before. Scott calls you over, and as you speed away, you know that, even if you’re not now, you’re going to be okay.

You grip Scott tighter as he picks up speed, rounding a corner, the water treatment plant fading away into the distance. You promise yourself that the next time you see your friends, you’re going to tell them how sorry you are that you’ve been such a downer lately, that all that is going to be behind you.

‘I’ll see you again soon.’

Theo’s words whisper in your ear, and your lips twitch up at the edges into another smile. Now you have something you can cling to, something that will keep you going, something you can grasp when everything seems dark. The weight on your chest has lifted, and that pit in your stomach finally seems to be gone.

‘I’ll see you again soon.’

You don’t know how soon is soon, but it’s definitely sooner than never.


End file.
